Archive for the 'teenagers' Category

what is the motivation?

It seems as I look around this world we call home… that often what motivates action is fear, guilt, or vengeance - or some combination thereof. I know that is pretty cynical. But it seems that from congress to the school house too often (how about that) we hear underlying building programs and new initiatives this motivation mix of fear (someone is going to out do us), guilt (it has been a long time coming), or vengeance (never again!).

I know that few things happen from pure motives (meaning only one motive) - it is most often a mix of motivations - but it has me thinking, what motivates youth ministry in my church?

fear!

Is it guilt? Are we attempting to make up for some past failures by providing “the best” for the next generation?
Is it fear? Are we trying to provide an alternative to the world in order to protect our children?
Is it vengeance? Are we trying to prove something to someone?

What are the motivations that move us or our church into ministry with teens? I am sure it is a mixture of all kinds of inner forces. Though, I am coming to learn and be convinced of this - if love is not a growing factor amidst those other competing factors, it’s not worth much.

God, may a holy love infuse our desires and motivations as we minister to others. May the love which moved Jesus from heaven to earth be the mark of your bride. May love rain on your church and be the fragrance she is known for. On earth as it is in heaven.

Amen.

preference or conviction

This July is the first time in at least 15 years that I have not traveled on a ministry trip. It has been nice to be home as peppers and tomatoes ripen in the garden and to stop for ice cream with the family. It has been odd, as well. For the past ten years I had spent at least one week at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore with Merge. It had been a time to catch up with friends and colleagues and to watch God at work in my life and the life of teens. I really miss the late night conversations, the laughter, the stories, facing challenges together, solving problems and celebrating victories (small and significant).

spectatorsI was talking with a close friend yesterday. We were reminiscing and dreaming toward the future. He mentioned something that I have been considering. It was a great question. During the summer in youth ministry many of us find ourselves as spectators for part of our experience. We often find ourselves at camps, conferences and the like going through ministry experiences with our teens (while others lead the larger experience). We can often put on our “evaluation hat” as other adults present or speak or facilitate ministry among us.

How do we know when we come across those issues that we don’t like or that we would handle differently whether it is the result of a personal preference or a deep seated conviction?

– does it matter?
– do we discuss it with others?
– is the Bible the final arbitrator?
– is there a gut feeling? intuitive sense?

Love to hear of your experiences and how you wrestled or are wrestling with your inner critic this summer.

recommendation

I want to strongly recommend that if you are in youth ministry in any fashion, that you read Dino’s post over at Z Life. I have been guilty of the tactics he mentions in the past - and he called me to task and I would encourage us all to listen to his challenge.

Check it out - Motivational Advice.

new books

I have a problem - many of you can probably understand or appreciate, I can never have too many books. There is always one more or another that is calling to be read. It really isn’t a serious problem, but I do love books. I love everything about them - I enjoy them in libraries, bookstores, and probably most of all stacked by my chair in the living room, and next to my bed! I don’t think I will ever be one to adopt reading books on electronic pads or listening to books on my ipod - I enjoy too much the feel of a book in my hand and turning pages!

I acquired three new friends in the past 12 hours. Well, to be truthful, they aren’t “new” friends - they are new works from old friends. I have acquired the following books:

Chris Folmsbee - A New Kind of Youth Ministry

    Chris is the CEO and President of Sonlife Ministries and is already at work on his second book (tentatively titled, Story, Signs and Sacred Rhythms). I am looking forward to reading this book (besides Chris being a close friend, he is also a great resource for those working with youth in the church) - this is a book I have anticipated reading since it came out at the YS Convention in Cincy this past November, and one I look forward to reviewing. I have already scanned the contents and know I will be encouraging my church youth ministry team to go through it as we dream, pray and consider how to improve our ministry with/for youth.

Thomas Merton - A Book of Hours (edited by Kathleen Deignan)

T. MertonThis is meant to be a daily guide for leading a person in contemplative prayer over the course of a week with the pre-eminent 20th century spiritual guide, Thomas Merton. I have found Merton to be extremely challenging and often his writing has caused me to ponder a thought for days… and that is a good thing. The book is designed beautifully and has readings and prayers for prayer at Dawn, Day, Dusk & Dark for Sunday through Saturday.

A small taste: “I only have time for eternity.”

Think on that nugget from Merton for more than a second.

Dr. Bruce Demarest - soul guide (Following Jesus As Spiritual Director)

    The third and final book came to my attention as a recommendation from a friend. It is right up my alley and the things that I am thinking about these days. It looks like a helpful and enjoyable read. What I have read so far is engaging and produces a lot of nods of the head and agreeable sounds.

A taste… (a bit more than Merton!)

As Christians we confess that Jesus the Christ is the fullness of God, come to us in human flesh to offer us the example of a life lived perfectly under the guidance and direction of God. As such, Jesus Himself is the perfect paradigm for completed humanity and the pattern for Christian ministry. Looking to Jesus as human beings we find answers to the questions and issues with which we all struggle. Looking to Jesus as disciples we find in Him the perfect pattern of how to minister grace to spiritual seekers.

Looking foward to gleaning more from these new books from old friends! Hope to share a full review of each of these selections with you!

web wanderings…

Some of the things I have stumbled across or enjoyed over the past couple of days (or weeks):

A New Find!

    a website a friend pointed me to called Godspace, it is the website of author Christine Sine;

from blogs on ministry

    I have also been enjoying the blog by a fellow youth worker, Dan Mayes check out this post (I found it thought-provoking).
    Bob Robinson has done two very intriguing posts on a new approach for sharing our faith and revealing God’s Kingdom - quality stuff!! Part One. Part Two.
    Chris Folmsbee has written a unique take on how we represent Jesus, check out his post - Stealing or Revealing the Identity of Jesus;
    Steve Argue asks the tough questions - and this post gets at the heart of; an important discussion that maybe you can work through in your youth ministry environment.

this is just cool stuff

    will it be a trend? Life Church enter’s the world of Second Life… check it out.

    Jim Hancock continues to “turn up” cool videos… this one is pretty amazing

helpful

    compare on those books you wanna buy - compare here

why?

Why do we do what we do? For those who work with youth - sometimes we ask this question of ourselves out of frustration. Sometimes we find ourselves answering this question, for other inquirying minds. Nonetheless we are faced often in youth ministry with the question, “Why do you do it?”

We can joke, “It’s not about the money.” (Although I know some folks who are living fairly comfortable off this “vocation.”) But, why do we do it?

    Are we incapable of doing any other thing?
    Are we able to get by doing little? Are we lazy?
    Are we following our calling?
    Do we fear growing up?
    Do we, do it for love?

What is the driving motivation that has us pursuing youth ministry? I hope among the many competing motivations there is a compeling love for youth. I am on a one man mission to restore dignity to the word, amateur. The word is derived from a latin word meaning, “lover or to love.” When I hear people say, “I am just an amateur” it makes me cringe. Why do folks feel they need to apologize that they are not a “paid professional.” I often reply, “Doing it for the love, is often preferable to the alternative.” We need more amateurs and a whole lot less of the alternative.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. (I Corinthians 13.1-3)

Maybe we could add: “If I teach and lead youth in the community of faith, but have not love, I am merely a sideshow entertainer - much shock, no impact.”

Do it for love!

stage of life (thoughts on the body of Christ)

Today I celebrate the anniversary of the day I was born, and that got me thinking. I am now in the midst of mid-life (not a mid-life crisis, though!). I have been thinking quite a bit about mid-life and it’s benefits and about life-stages in general and what they bring to our lives. It seems that at each life stage we are faced with challenges and benefits that accompany us on our journey (I think I originally began thinking about this from reading Kenda Creasy Dean’s, Practicing Passion).

    Infancy - dependence
    Childhood - wonder
    Adolescents - passion
    Late Adolescence - mid 20’s - idealism
    Early Adulthood - energy, industrious
    Mid-Life - resources, stability
    Retirement - wisdom, experience
    Senior - wonder, dependence

Anyway, the list above represents some early thoughts about the dominant challenges/benefits that come as we journey through the stages of our lives. There is much more that could obviously be said about this, but it makes me wonder what does this mean for our churches. Too often the practice in the church is to divide every life stage into homogeneous units. Classes and events are planned and designed to target specific age groups. It makes me wonder all that we are missing by avoiding the mixing of generations and folks from various life stages. We miss the the wisdom of a 70 year old reflecting on the wonder of a child. We miss the passion of a teen calling us to follow God’s heart for the lost and least of these; and the resources of one in mid-life catching the passionate/idealism and taking a risk to finance the new endeavor.

Jesus IconI pray that our churches would stop dividing up the Body of Christ into neat and convenient “ministries” or “departments.” I pray that we would “be one” as the Father and Son are one. I pray that our churches would reflect a unity, amidst diversity. Not just an appreciation for the Gifts of the Spirit; but also the unique and diverse challenges and benefits that accompany our stage of life. I pray that we would value and come to appreciate our need for one another. I pray for the day when our churches would reflect our God-given humanity; redeemed and reflecting the image of God - Our wonder-filled, passionate and industrious God. The God who does not change and the God who calls us to impossible tasks. The God who has everything we need and who is full of wisdom and full of power. May the Body of Christ that gathers in each of our churches become a place where all belong, all contribute and all learn from and sharpen one another. A place where a child can lead, a teen can point us to God’s heart, a 20 something can remind us of how it “should” or “can be,” an adult lends her experience to sharpen another, a 60 something share his life with a 20 something…

May it be.

consulting…

As I author this, I am sitting in the Pittsburgh International Airport waiting to board an airplane to Soutwest Florida. I always have bittersweet feelings at departure time. The tinge of guilt and sadness leaving my family and regular routines and responsibilities and yet a bit of excitement about the journey ahead. And so I wait with the duplicitous feelings washing over me.

Consulting is an especially interesting journey. It is consciously walking into a new set of relationships where there are many spoken and unspoken expectations and all kinds of unknowns (despite the many discussions and phone calls beforehand). It is a journey I do enjoy! I thrive on the thrill of dreaming and encouraging youth workers. I also love the challenge of helping a team of folks come to new realizations and also see the places and ways they are being used to reveal God’s Kingdom among young people. Today I will begin four days of walking with a group of volunteer youthworkers who are desireing to evaluate and discuss a more wholistic approach to youth ministry.

I hope to help these volunteers uncover an important set of truths. The core truths are that more than being activity and program directors - that each youth worker would realize they are called to be advocates for youth and spiritual guides for others. My hope is to help these folks see that to develop a wholistic ministry to youth, they need to advocate for the involvement and participation of teens in the life of the faith community. Championing the cry that youth are a valued and needed part of Christ’s Body, right now. This is essential to be successful in helping integrate the youth into the everyday life of the church. As spiritual guides my hope is to help each of the volunteers to see the vital importance of their own personal growth. It is out of this growing and deepening well that they will have the authenticity and the resource to minister.

That is my agenda, subject to change. For now the journey begins and not to far around the corner, we’ll uncover some of God’s agenda for this important ministry in Florida.

until the harvest

I remember the ten to fifteen minutes before the youth event when students were arriving. At times in ministry those could be anxious moments. I would often be wondering, are more people coming? Are the volunteers going to show up?! Will the core kids come and be kind? Will that obnoxious elder’s kid show up? Have you ever had those thoughts?

It doesn’t take us long ministering with kids to realize that “who is there” can make a big difference in what gets accomplished any given night. One personality can “derail” an entire evening by acting up, by dominating the discussion, or by intimidating others -keeping them from participation. I think we can see this as a problem or we can see this issue as the ministry to which we are called. It may help to see “who comes out on any given night” - as the ministry to which we are called; and if we do so - then how can we change the way we approach such a ministry?

feed the grassI got to thinking of this question while I was cutting my grass. I was noticing the weeds amidst the blades of fresh spring grass. I was reminded again that I need to fertilize and feed my grass. I have long been an adopter of the mantra, “feed the grass, rather than pull the weeds.” I mean you can pull weeds - but that can jeopardize the root system of your grass, not to mention it leaves a void in your yard. I say feed the grass and get a healthy, growing crop of grass; and in the long term there will be no room for weeds.

We often allow ourselves to get in the same quandry in ministry - do I feed the grass or pull the weeds. I encourage folks to feed the grass. Care for and feed those who come and:

    believe the best - that Students are hungry for God and meaning,
    that it is God who causes the growth,
    trust that below the surface in unseen places (at the root level) - change is taking place,
    share out of your authenticity the truth found in God’s Word,
    and feed, train and call your volunteers to be welcoming, loving, befriending and encouraging toward every kid who shows up.

As we are faithful in these things we will create a positive environment that is accepting and prime for growth. We will “feed the grass” and not uproot any potential from our ministry. We will begin to view every individual not as a “problem” or as “more important” but each person as one who is there by God’s grace and able to be transformed by God’s grace.

Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

“The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’

” ‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.
“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’

” ‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’ “ [Matthew 13:24-30]

**DISCLAIMER**
This post is in no way suggesting that we avoid disciplining students in our ministry who misbehave (this can obviously be a part of a persons individual growth). There is a time and place for rules, enforcement of rules and consequences. I would advocate that you regularly review the expectations within your ministry and the consequences for disregarding them.

web wanderings

Over the past couple of days I have found these to be good reads… thought I would pass them along:

    Ted Gossard on The National Day of Prayer (and his post on The Beauty of the Lord was a good read, as well).
    Caught in the Middle has a great post on leadership and big business in the church.
    Alan Bevere provides some fun with a post entitled, “Funny Quotes on Religion.”
    Kurt Johnston posts on 25 things you can do with a Buck - this is a wonderful “take-a-way” idea for students on a message on “little things that can make a big difference.” (Kurt provided this list with a dollar as a take-away recently at their middle school ministry).
    Mark Riddle post a short little thought on an “odd spiritual discipline he practices.” I really dig it - a helpful way to foster your awareness and to be in the moment.
    The internet monk - Michael Spencer - writes a wonderful piece on liturgical prayer; really well done! You can check out my recommendations for exploring an alternative to “spontaneous prayer” here.
    Mike King - posts a quote from Erwin McManus - a helpful reminder and a great conversation starter!

« Previous PageNext Page »