I hate clocks and watches - they become a prison for me that I can’t escape. I become obsessed with, “what time is it” and “being on time” and meeting “dead” lines. For me living by the clock or watch makes me “times” prisoner rather than a means to “keep” time. In fact clocks and watches often prevent me from entering fully the precious moment I am in– as I am always trying to grasp the next moment to come (playing “beat the clock”). Many years ago (about 10) I gave up the “wrist manacle” and began to live free from a time keeper.

In light of that… I have stopped watching watches and offer the following little bits and piece I have picked up over the years on the mechanical ticking that can tie us up.

“Clocks slay time… time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.” ~William Faulkner

“…being attentive to the times of the day: when the birds began to sing, and the deer came out of the morning fog, and the sun came up. The reason why we don’t take time is a feeling that we have to keep moving. This is a real sickness. We live in the fullness of time. Every moment is God’s own good time, His kairos (gk. for opportune time). The whole thing boils down to giving ourselves in prayer a chance to realize that we have what we seek. We don’t have to rush after it. It was there all the time and if we give it time, it will make itself known to us.” ~Thomas Merton

“One act is required - and that is all: for this one act pulls everything together and keeps everything in order… This one act is to stand with attention in your heart.” ~Theophan the Recluse

“Nevertheless I am alway with you: for you hold me by my right hand.” (Psalm 73.23)

That last verse from The Book of Psalms is one that I like to keep in mind - when I “instinctual” want to look at the clocks time - to remind me - no watch on my right hand, but God is with me! So enter into the NOW - for “there” is where time is full and God is present.

It is true the blog is back and I think about 85% healthy… better than less than 50%. The site got really sick. But enough of that. I stopped in the middle of Advent and we are back up and running before Ash Wednesday, so let’s commence.

It is also an exciting time round these parts for at least me, because after 10 years of my books being in boxes they are now out on shelves! So it is good times - the blog is back up and the books are out! See the new shelves (I have one other wall of shelves that contained the reference and must have books):

So this has started a flurry of activity as I have started to gather up some books from around the house (the bathroom, bedroom, from beside the chair, from a small “fancy” bookshelf) so I can re-shelve them in their permanent place on my new shelves! Here is the largest load on my dining room table returning from “circulation.”

It’s is good to have my books in a place where they can be enjoyed and read and handled - and it is good to have perigrinatio back.

My next post will clue you in on some things planned for the blog!

Peace.

In early december my site here was hacked up a bit. I have slowly restored some of the underbelly.

I hope to get things back up and running “fairly normally” here in the next couple of days to a week. Well I hope anyway.

Hope some have bore with me… (pun intended).

Peace.

Doug

Wisdom from the ascetics in the desert from Thomas Merton’s The Wisdom of the Desert.

Some powerful truth(s) about our view of others from hermits!

“One of the elders said: A monk ought not to inquire how this one acts, or how that one lives. Questions like this take us away from prayer and draw us on to backbiting and chatter. There is nothing better than to keep silent.” (p. 74)

“Abbot Moses said: A man ought to be like a dead man with his companion, for to die to one’s friend is to cease to judge him in anything.” (p. 75)

“Once two brethren came to a certain elder whose custom it was not to eat every day. But when he saw the brethren he invited them with joy to dine with him, saying: Fasting has its reward, but he who eats out of charity fulfills two commandments, for he sets aside his own will and he refreshes his hungry brethren.” (p. 77)

Today no ancient wisdom; but nonetheless it is wisdom as old as the earth. The wisdom comes from an unlikely place and yet that is often the place where we find true wisdom (I Corinthians 3.18, “Do not deceive yourselves. If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a “fool” so that he may become wise.”) So today we turn to find wisdom in a little known Christian Alternative band. I uncovered this little gem while working in a church as an associate pastor and it was the music of these artists that I often turned to in times of pain, feeling misunderstood and finding myself amidst the pressure and the glass house of expectations that can accompany public ministry.

I often led our youth in worship singing this song. At first the teenagers enjoyed the novelty and the intrigue of the verses of this particular song - it felt out of place to be singing many of the words as part of our “worship” in church. Yet, over time the song became one that led us to some of our most deep and transcendent experiences of worship. More than one time the song ended and a holy hush filled the room; time stood still and we were one with our Maker.

I think of this song often - each time I turn on Skype and see that message about “breathe deep” and many times the refrain of this chorus fills me up as I walk amidst God’s creation.

So may this universal message of God’s wide mercy and extravagant grace remind us of our privilege to know and encounter God and our need to be His agents of restoration to all people.

Breathe Deep (the Breath of God)
from The Lost Dog’s debut album “Scenic Routes”
Music and lyrics by Terry Taylor

Politicians, morticians, Philistines, homophobes;
Skinheads, Dead heads, tax evaders, street kids;
Alcoholics, workaholics, wise guys, dim wits;
Blue collars, white collars, war mongers, peace nicks.

(repeat chorus)

The Lost Dogs performing “Breathe Deep” on Cornerstone Mainstage 2008 (Bushnell, IL)

The Charlie Hall Band played a “show” at our church this past weekend. It was less of a show and more of a worship service. It was an exceptional experience. I have followed Charlie Hall since discovering him through Passion back in ‘96. Frankly, even back then, of those involved in leading the Passion conferences - Charlie was the worship leader I felt I most connected with (through the many recordings) - and it has only taken 12 years to actually see him live!

I had volunteered to help set up for the show and it was probably good I did - as it was a relatively light crew. We were all efficient and well ahead of the curve by the time the band showed. I actually wired a good part of the stage - (yeah, that is what my wife said!) - and it all worked. The only real snafu of set-up was the rented Vox AC-30 wouldn’t emit any sound - so that sent me back to the house to pick up my trusty Fender DeVille 4×10. It was great to hear Kendall (guitarist for The Charlie Hall Band) make my amp soar and sound so beautiful.

Charlie has just released a new album of tunes called, The Bright Sadness. When I first heard it - I knew it was going to be great; because it didn’t sound immediately accessible on a first listen. That is always a clue to me that this is a release worth giving some time to. This is a release that has some longevity (it isn’t just the sound of the moment). I have found that to be true. There are many levels to the recording; layers of sonic goodness and various layers of meaning - this is not your average worship release in my opinion.

It was great to worship along with my church family and with Charlie and his band as they led us through one of my favorite tunes of The Bright Sadness, called simply “Mystery.” The beauty of the songs melody; the intensity and passion of the groove and the great lyrics enhanced by singing possibly the most ancient of Christian creeds - makes this for me a perfect tune.

Here is a taste of the lyrics of Mystery:

Mystery
by Charlie Hall

Sweet Jesus Christ my sanity
Sweet Jesus Christ my clarity
Bread of heaven, broken for me
Cup of salvation held up to drink
Jesus the Mystery

Christ has died and
Christ is risen,
and Christ will come again

Anyway - I can’t commend Charlie Hall’s newest release highly enough - pick it up (and if the chance to see him comes along - take it!).

Set List from 10/12/2008 @ Chippewa Evangelical Free Church

I have mentioned that of late I have been doing a bit of tree work on my property. After living here in Western Pennsylvania for the last four years my wife and I have started to see the way to best manage the land we have and it involves a bit of tree removal. But not just cutting down the trees mind you - but also removing the dreaded STUMP, as well. From experience, now I can tell you that is no small feat!

It all began with taking down some tall trees… and then the real work began - cleaning up all the limbs and timber. And then you have to face - THE STUMP. We tackled the stump by digging up as much soil from around the base of the stump as we could muster. In an attempt to expose the root structure. Then it was time to cut out as many of the roots as we could find - using a chainsaw and an axe. Then we let physics attempt to do it’s thing - by hooking a chain to the very top of the stump and then connecting it to the base of a nearby tree with a come-a-long; we attempted to pull up the stump.

Let’s just say, while it worked - it wasn’t as easy as one would hope. After cutting out all the exposed roots that we could get to - it still took some serious cranking, digging, more cutting (as more roots became visible) and muscle to get the roots to “let go.”

A little photo essay reviewing the process:

A Stump.

Exposing the Roots

Cutting the Roots

Cutting the Roots 2

Pulling it Down!

OUT!

As I went through this process it struck me… it takes an awful lot of work to expose and undo a root system. It was tiring process. There were times I wondered silently if I would ever get the stump out. Then I began to be encouraged; the youth worker in me kicked in and I realized this is what my work has been and still is all about. As a parent I began to feel more confident in my work - for again; this is what my “job” has been about the last 17 years. I have been about work that is unseen - working on helping young people develop below the surface. It has been about encouraging and nurturing root systems.

And what I learned while trying to get a stump to let go; roots are pretty tough!

Take heart and have faith.

I am otherwise occupied - outside working; keeping up with my paying gig; being a dad; relaxin’ a bit before “fall” gets here and just don’t feel like writing.

I’ll return very soon - got a few things buzzing around my brain that I will share…

soon.

Till then sit back and enjoy life. Just be in the now. No regrets - no planning - no waiting for the weekend - no wishing for yesterday.

Just enjoy, now.

I’ll return… soon. But now I am otherwise occupied.

Peace.

I dare say that unfortunately you will not hear the following tune on Christian Radio. It is a shame. I was listening to this tune penned by Andrew Peterson as performed by Michael Card from his recording entitled, The Hidden Face of God. As I was cleaning stalls in our stable I was struck by this tune - if I had heard it before, I hadn’t really listened. This release is a wonderful recording from Card - (which probably didn’t sell real well) but the center piece of the recording is Peterson’s tune!

As I listened I came to a fresh awareness of this desire in my soul: I long to be a part of a Christian community where discussions on the silence of God is a regular topic of discussion (where this song could be a “theme song” for a season). I long for the day when Christianity is unashamed of the mystery of God (not everything has to be understood, principle-ized, dissected and made into a “how to.”) and the paradox that He is the God who reveals and the God who “hides.”

The Silence of God (by Andrew Peterson)

It’s enough to drive a man crazy; it’ll break a man’s faith
It’s enough to make him wonder if he’s ever been sane
When he’s bleating for comfort from Thy staff and Thy rod
And heaven’s only answer is the silence of God

It’ll shake a man’s timbers when he loses his heart
When he has to remember what broke him apart
This yoke may be easy, but this burden is not
When the crying fields are frozen by the silence of God

And if a man has got to listen to the voices of the mob
Who are reeling in the throes of all the happiness they’ve got
When they tell you all their troubles have been nailed up to that cross
Then what about the times when even followers get lost?
‘Cause we all get lost sometimes…

There’s a statue of Jesus on a monastery knoll
In the hills of Kentucky, all quiet and cold
And He’s kneeling in the garden, as silent as a Stone
All His friends are sleeping and He’s weeping all alone

And the man of all sorrows, he never forgot
What sorrow is carried by the hearts that he bought
So when the questions dissolve into the silence of God
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
The aching may remain, but the breaking does not
In the holy, lonesome echo of the silence of God

There have been a few “defining moments” in my life. Moments that with their immediacy and completely distilled messsage speak loud and clear, shaping my life in a unique fashion. A couple of profound moments that altered my direction and outlook on life immediately come to mind: That moment on the Yellow Breeches in Grantham, PA gazing into a beautiful young woman’s blue eyes, right then I knew in my bones that I would marry L (and I did - and we took wedding pictures near that spot). A winter morning driving along route 28 between Midland and Catlett, VA when it became clear that doing the work of God was killing God’s work in me, and that I must walk away from full-time vocational ministry. A night in my bed when I realized my father’s voice would never hit my ears on earth again. Defining moments.

Some are joyous. Some are tragic. Each quietly causing a seismic shift in that inner part of you.

I was at Resurrection Center in Woodstock, IL back in August of 2005. It was on a summer afternoon when I made my way across the conference centers grounds. I was walking determined on reaching my goal. I had heard there was a hermitage on the property and I wanted to see it. I got a bit turned around and made some wrong turns, but my persistence won over my midguided steps and I found it; and the key to make entry.

After nebbing around the one room building I settled down in a wooden rocker and gazed out the large picture window. The space between this world and the next began to close in. In that little room in the middle of the woods in the middle of North America - I heard again the voice of my Maker. One word. Two syllables that shook my being. Five letters that embraced me with deep felt approval and acceptance. In that moment (or moments?) - few things could compete with my focus and alertness to an often forgotten term.

I haven’t and hope to never forget that short time in that little room.

I was reminded there that I am dear to my Maker. I found new purpose and new desire to continue on taking steps with and toward my Master. I found dignity and meaning in who I was. I “saw” this world and my place in it focused for a second.

A defining moment - defined by a two-syllable, five letter word, whispered by a still, small voice.

Abide.

At that instant - I most deeply wanted to abide. And it has made all the difference.

“Freedom is not whether we can do whatever we want, but whether we can do what we most deeply want.”

(I found that quote in that little room in the woods in Woodstock, IL - I don’t know who first said it.)