As I author this, I am sitting in the Pittsburgh International Airport waiting to board an airplane to Soutwest Florida. I always have bittersweet feelings at departure time. The tinge of guilt and sadness leaving my family and regular routines and responsibilities and yet a bit of excitement about the journey ahead. And so I wait with the duplicitous feelings washing over me.

Consulting is an especially interesting journey. It is consciously walking into a new set of relationships where there are many spoken and unspoken expectations and all kinds of unknowns (despite the many discussions and phone calls beforehand). It is a journey I do enjoy! I thrive on the thrill of dreaming and encouraging youth workers. I also love the challenge of helping a team of folks come to new realizations and also see the places and ways they are being used to reveal God’s Kingdom among young people. Today I will begin four days of walking with a group of volunteer youthworkers who are desireing to evaluate and discuss a more wholistic approach to youth ministry.

I hope to help these volunteers uncover an important set of truths. The core truths are that more than being activity and program directors - that each youth worker would realize they are called to be advocates for youth and spiritual guides for others. My hope is to help these folks see that to develop a wholistic ministry to youth, they need to advocate for the involvement and participation of teens in the life of the faith community. Championing the cry that youth are a valued and needed part of Christ’s Body, right now. This is essential to be successful in helping integrate the youth into the everyday life of the church. As spiritual guides my hope is to help each of the volunteers to see the vital importance of their own personal growth. It is out of this growing and deepening well that they will have the authenticity and the resource to minister.

That is my agenda, subject to change. For now the journey begins and not to far around the corner, we’ll uncover some of God’s agenda for this important ministry in Florida.

I remember the ten to fifteen minutes before the youth event when students were arriving. At times in ministry those could be anxious moments. I would often be wondering, are more people coming? Are the volunteers going to show up?! Will the core kids come and be kind? Will that obnoxious elder’s kid show up? Have you ever had those thoughts?

It doesn’t take us long ministering with kids to realize that “who is there” can make a big difference in what gets accomplished any given night. One personality can “derail” an entire evening by acting up, by dominating the discussion, or by intimidating others -keeping them from participation. I think we can see this as a problem or we can see this issue as the ministry to which we are called. It may help to see “who comes out on any given night” - as the ministry to which we are called; and if we do so - then how can we change the way we approach such a ministry?

I got to thinking of this question while I was cutting my grass. I was noticing the weeds amidst the blades of fresh spring grass. I was reminded again that I need to fertilize and feed my grass. I have long been an adopter of the mantra, “feed the grass, rather than pull the weeds.” I mean you can pull weeds - but that can jeopardize the root system of your grass, not to mention it leaves a void in your yard. I say feed the grass and get a healthy, growing crop of grass; and in the long term there will be no room for weeds.

We often allow ourselves to get in the same quandry in ministry - do I feed the grass or pull the weeds. I encourage folks to feed the grass. Care for and feed those who come and:

believe the best - that Students are hungry for God and meaning,

that it is God who causes the growth,

trust that below the surface in unseen places (at the root level) - change is taking place,

share out of your authenticity the truth found in God’s Word,

and feed, train and call your volunteers to be welcoming, loving, befriending and encouraging toward every kid who shows up.

As we are faithful in these things we will create a positive environment that is accepting and prime for growth. We will “feed the grass” and not uproot any potential from our ministry. We will begin to view every individual not as a “problem” or as “more important” but each person as one who is there by God’s grace and able to be transformed by God’s grace.

Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

” ‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’ “ [Matthew 13:24-30]

**DISCLAIMER**
This post is in no way suggesting that we avoid disciplining students in our ministry who misbehave (this can obviously be a part of a persons individual growth). There is a time and place for rules, enforcement of rules and consequences. I would advocate that you regularly review the expectations within your ministry and the consequences for disregarding them.

It is no secret that the Western World (especially USAmerica) loves the great gala extravaganza. We gravitate toward the big event. It is our way. We love to make a splash and often the build up is bigger than the event [think Superbowl hype every year, new fall tv lineups, release of new Albums (think U2 playing on a flatbed through the streets of NYC), the press coverage of gatherings to herald the arrival of gamesystems & computer operating systems, and we could go on and on] with millions rallied, millions spent, and untold hours of energy devoted to prepare for “the event.” It also comes as no surprise that this “bigger is better event” mentality has crept (okay captured and dominated??) many of our churches.

My hope is that we can shed this sense that Christian growth occurs through events and monumental moments. This seems to fly in the face of much evidence we see around us. It is Spring right now in the Mid-Atlantic states of USAmerica. I have been struck by the fact that the emergence of growth and life is a long process. The various trees (especially the Hard woods like the Red Maple and White Oaks) have been going through the cycle of coming into leaf since mid-March and still aren’t in full leaf. When I look at Jesus and His work among His disciples we don’t see Him including all the disciples on all the Miracles, but apparantly most of them were present with Him for three solid years of living with the Master. They experienced His stories, His priorities, His attitudes and His everyday demeanor as they ate, walked, and worked among people. It was a long process to go from average Israelite to Apostle of the Risen Christ.

I won’t say there isn’t a place for Monumental Moments (who wants to discount the Resurrection or Pentecost or Baptism or the institution of the Lord’s Supper) - but, these events while definitive - are not our only means of discipleship. Discipleship is a process of frequent footprints, interspersed with monumental moments. Too often in Youth Ministry we fail to help students see specifically how they can be daily following after the Master. We can fall into the trap of mistakenly conveying the idea that Christian Growth takes place as a result of participating in extravaganza’s (conferences, retreats, events, rally’s, large meetings). My prayer is that more Youth Ministry practitioners will help the youth of their church discover a discipleship of frequent footprints.

A discipleship of frequent footprints would be characterized by:

1. Helping students have a family familiarity with the life of Jesus;
2. Modeling and calling students to a prayer life that is in harmony with The Lord’s Prayer;
3. Providing regular opportunities for students to serve rather than be served (local service and ministry projects);
4. Becoming experts in hospitality, known as welcoming and gracious hosts;
5. Developing mentor/mentoree relationships that nurtures, encourages, and deepens participants spiritual, emotional, and relational life;
6. Fostering a ministry environment that celebrates and expects students to share stories of how God’s Story is enveloping their own.

Well, that is just a beginning. What are you doing to encourage daily discipleship among your students? May the Church of the 21st Century be a Church that is known in history as getting serious about modeling our daily lifestyle after our Master.

Building on the post from yesterday, what I have learned so far - I thought it would be interesting to think through lessons we feel students should be learning. If you were to list out five or six essential life lessons for students that you would want to help kids learn and put into practice as they come through your ministry, what would they be?

Beyond orthodoxy - correct beliefs; what orthopraxis (right actions) would you want your students to engage in? Are there some life practices that would be essential for your students to be confronted with and challenged to integrate into their everyday living?

A couple come to mind:

1. Listen more than you speak. (helping students value actively listening to others)

2. Pray without ceasing. (encouraging young people to see prayer as fostering an awareness and attentiveness to the presence of God)

3. Practice generosity and hospitality. (our greatest apologetic for the reality of God and His Kingdom is a love that is extravagant and gives of our best)

4. Gratitude for what I already have. (battling the entitlement of “I deserve better.” nurturing a thankfulness for what I have and contentment that doesn’t need to acquire more.)

I have been thinking about this topic a bit lately. I would love to hear your thoughts about some of the life lessons that you feel are important to impart to the students in your local church. Leave a comment and join in the conversation.

For the past five days I have been chaperoning a trip to New York City for my daughter’s high school band trip. It was a trip. Exciting. Fun. Frustrating at times. Exhausting. Rewarding. The students were fantastic. I can’t think of one time where they acted inappropriately, where they were in need of serious correction or where I had to raise my voice or reprimand anyone. Pretty amazing when you consider that we had over 105 people on the trip.

I couldn’t help but remember the many trips I took kids on through the years. I remember especially those trips where you went to amusement parks (ever lead those trips!). Kids would emerge out of the woodwork for such activities (Ski Trips had this effect, as well - go figure). I also recall stressing over the behavior of the kids when I took such outings. Often my stressing was unfounded. But, I remember a few times when I had some real challenges with kids participating in activities from my church… LARGE holes in walls from rough housing, run aways, smoking, stealing, over the top attitude and rudeness taking place on those “amusement” park trips.

I guess I was prepared for some real problems as I set out Wednesday night for 4 nights and five days with a large group of public school students. Imagine my surprise - they were quiet and respectful on the charter buses, they were polite, on-time (we didn’t wait more than five minutes for anyone at meeting times/places), stayed in their assigned rooms, hung with their chaperones, laughed at the right times, were quiet and respectful when asked, and behaved in a manner I would have been proud to have led from any church group. Sure there was some whining, complaining, a few tears, and a few blisters… but, the kids were fantastic.

So, I haven’t really taken kids on longer trips in the past 5 years… so is this the norm? Are kids generally better behaved? Is this generation of kids (what Strauss and Howe call the Millenial Generation) just in general more well behaved and group oriented? Was my experience an anomoly? Was it because they knew the school had a way to enforce discipline if they messed up? I was shocked - I couldn’t believe that we didn’t have any “incidents,” no arguments, fights, real drama or broken rules. The greatest frustrations came with the actual tour schedule and planning (or lack there of) - and the kids rolled with it and everyone had a great time.

So, what are your thoughts - about touring, taking trips with kids - is it easier these days? or harder?

A couple of highlights from NYC…

Beauty and the Beast, on Broadway

Carmines Italian Restaurant

Blue Man Group at the Astor Place Theatre in East Village

Shopping on Canal Street!

Leading 17 guys through Times Square and Mid-town Manhatten through music stores and the sights!

Sunday Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral

Watching my daughter enjoy a great time with friends in an amazing place!

Where the shepherd goes; so go the sheep. We know that God calls women and men to care for, protect and oversee His people. We also know that the wounded shepherd is likely to end up in a ditch with his sheep in disarray. For individual’s who work youth - it is critical that we stay healthy. For where the shepherd goes; so go the sheep. I would say at whatever the cost - the health of the shepherd is paramount. We ultimately will do more harm than good if we are either covering up, denying, or disregarding our spiritual, emotional, relational, or physical weaknesses/illness.

Periodically we need a check-up - a time to assess and diagnose how we are doing physically, emotionally, spiritually and relationally. It is a good practice to get away from our everyday environment and be alone and be honest about “where we find ourselves.” There really is no surefire test or assessment that can give us a complete picture of our actual health - but we can ask good questions that can begin the process of painting a clearer picture. Below are some beginning questions that might help assess the “health of the shepherd.” (feel free to add some questions of your own!)

What outside interests have I been engaging in?

Have I been bored lately or seeking activities that distract me? If so why or what? Is it helping or harming?

When was the last time I felt exhileration/joy? What stimulated that sense?

Who am I befriending or relating to outside of the walls of the church?

What have I read or watched in the past weeks that has helped me think in new ways?

Am I sensing that God is nearer or more distant these days?

Am I pursuing God actively? What practices or disciplines am I pursueing?

When was the last time I had a meaningful and deep conversation with a peer or my spouse?

When was the last time I broke out of my “routine” and had a break or time off?

Have I been consumed or focused on success? Impressing others? Concerned about numbers of kids coming? Who’s expectations are driving me in what I am trying to accomplish in youth ministry?

Have I been irritable or angry? What precipitated this? Has this been a pattern

Those are some questions I rehearse on occassion. They are probably loaded questions, but hopefully will get you thinking about what prescription the Chief Shepherd might write for you to get you on your way to good health.

Where the Shepherd goes; so go the sheep.

By the way… today Jim Martin also touches on this important topic - I heartily encourage you to check it out here.

Over the past four years I have not only been a youth worker - but also a parent of an adolescent. I remember in Seminary many moons ago - hearing a friend, mentor and prof. telling me that as a youth worker you don’t get “real good” till you are a parent. He then added - it all goes to another dimension - when your own kids are part of your youth ministry. I have found this to be true!

I remember vividly the first time my daughter was in the audience when I was speaking to a group of students. It was a defining moment. I found myself preparing for that moment in very different ways. I was more careful with my facts, I was careful to not over generalize or to skirt over those places where I didn’t look so good (I had to tell the whole story), I found myself being more authentic and there was no room for exaggeration. I remember the first time my daughter came up to me after a message and said, “that was good dad.” That was the most rewarding moment in my years of being involved in youth ministry (it made persevering in this endeavor worth it!).

I have also found myself relating more and more to the questions that previously I hated… the questions and concerns that parents have. Concerns about adult/student ratio, the concerns about how rules will be enforced, what movies will be showing at all-nighters and retreats, and the like. When it is your flesh and blood, the “little things” - don’t seem so little any more. Yes as you get older and as you watch your own child develop the cavalier attitude definitely becomes more conservative. But, I think the perspective also helps in seeing youth ministry as a ministry that goes beyond ministry to young people and expands to ministry to the entire family. Prior to having teens of my own, I have to admit I knew that I should be doing this (ministering to the entire family) but I was intimidated by parents of teens. That has changed… somethings do change with time.

Finally being a parent of a teen has changed me, I have become a more compassionate youth worker. About the same time my daughter hit adolescence I also became a middle school teacher. Nothing prepared me for this eye-opening experience. My view of kids was forever changed in that process. Experiencing again the stress, the cruelty and the challenges of being in the world of teenagers gave me a new appreciation of the kids I worked with in the church. As I watched kids come in through the doors of the church I saw them in a new light, I understood why they were tired, sometimes depressed, often stressed, and in need of being heard, encouraged, given a break and space to just be.

Today my daughter’s schedule is pretty typical:

6:45a - wake up

7:35a - school

2:15p - Leave for Track Meet

3:30p - Track Meet

7:30p - Track Meet ends

8:00p - mandatory concert band practice

9:00p - p/u from school

9:30p - dinner, homework, see her parents…

and there will definitely be homework - as she is taking an ap statistics course dual enrolled with a local university, spanish 5, and euro-asian history. For years I heard about such schedules, but I rationalized it away thinking - there is always time for a few more things in kids schedules if they really prioritized and were well-prepared. Well, now I am experiencing through my daughter the reality of a teens schedule. I will just say - I am a bit more understanding and a bit more careful. Kids are busy and sometimes necessarily. We really need to make sure if we are going to call kids to participate in an event at our church - that events/meetings are well-done, meaningful, and worthy of the time kids sacrifice to be there. We need to understand that sometimes kids who miss out on stuff - want to be there, but they can’t. It is not always an issue of not being committed, it may be an issue of not enough time in the day.

Just some thoughts from a youth worker and parent of a teen. (Oh, and having a teenager hasn’t diminished my love for kids, I think it has intensified it!)

Regardless of the weather in Blacksburg, VA (indeed in many places) today - it will be a dark day. Many today will have to face unanswered questions, shock turning to anger, the stark reality that loss hurts, and the burden of enduring a senseless and massive tragedy. Families from across our nation will again face their own more private pain as this tragedy resurfaces their own tragic losses and pains.

No simple answers or well-meaning words will ease the wounds and searing pain of such tragic circumstances. Our Lord didn’t shout words at us in the midst of our troubles and trials. Our Lord became flesh and dwelt among us. Our Lord, the suffering servant, came and suffered right alongside us. May we be present today, this week and in the future with those who suffer - offering our presence and walking with those who mourn. May we “be there”
for those who mourn and for those who must walk this tragic road.

A Prayer for Those Who Suffer:

God, Father all-powerful, you who know our pain and see our tears, listen to our prayer. We believe that you will hear us in this time of difficulty and suffering. Help us keep the image of your Son ever before us, and let us feel the healing calm of your embrace. We ask this through your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever. Amen.

For those of you who work with youth and you want to address this issue of mourning, weeping with those who weep, and finding God when tragedy strikes - you will find some helpful resources here.

I found this today - it appears in The Dispatch out of Lexington, NC. (you can find the original story here). It really is encouraging to hear students (like the one below) who are finding support, life, hope, and joy in the midst of their youth ministry. Isn’t this what we all hope for - a positive environment that fosters relationships that help our students take steps in the direction of obedience to Christ. I wonder if kids in my youth ministry could write a column about anything in the local paper, what would they choose to highlight? [I also find it interesting the separation between “everyday life” and life in the youth group - this compartmentalizing is a symptom of a great problem in the western church].

Here is what this young man from NC wrote:

It’s always good to have a support system, no matter what you’re doing.

If you were trying out for the marching band’s drum line for the first time, you’d obviously want some people backing you up and cheering you on. Even if you are just taking a test in your Algebra II Honors class, it’s always nice to hear the little whispers of “good luck!” directed toward you. Nothing makes me feel better than people encouraging me and telling me I can do things.

So, why shouldn’t everyone have a back-up in the biggest event of all: life?

I’ve got one. Yes, go ahead, be jealous. As if it isn’t enough to have friends pushing me forward, I also have a group of other youths I see every Sunday who have got my back, no matter what. I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not here to preach about religion. I’m here to talk about the other teens in my youth group who don’t mind stepping up to the plate for me when I need them to.

There are teens of all ages in my youth group, and I don’t mind any of them - from “lowly” eighth-graders (like my brother) to people who have graduated already and are still as awesome as ever. In all, there are about nine families in the group and around 14 students, and I can honestly say, almost all of us hang out outside of church and those Sunday times.

But unlike some of my other friends, I know I can come to them with religious problems/serious stuff/etc. because we’ve got the same basic beliefs and moral backgrounds. I like having fun as much as anyone else, but sometimes, you just want to talk to someone, and my youth group definitely allows me to do that. I can ask questions without feeling totally stupid, and I can give input without anyone talking down to me. Plus (all right, maybe this is slightly religious), I have people praying for me when I have to do things that scare me or when I need help.

Participating in a youth group isn’t what you might think. It’s not a big religious center of conversion and chanting. At my church, we just hang out and talk and pick on each other, like - yeah, I’ll say it - a big family. It’s not so much that we’re all perfectly in tune and love everything that everyone else does, but we can just understand each other and relate when we need to.

Best friends are amazing, I won’t ever deny it, but some of your best friends might even fit into your “not-so-everyday-life” relationships, too.

And trust me, it’s not all bad having people who know most of your business. In fact, you’ll probably like it a lot better than keeping everything to yourself.

Whit Holbrook is a student at Ledford High School.

I have logged quite a few hours in evangelical churches over the past 20 years. I have attended lots of worship services, ministry events and youth group meetings. In that time I have noticed that one of the most ancient of practices is often missing from all of these gatherings. The public reading of Scripture is a practice encouraged by Moses and Joshua, practiced by King Josiah, Nehemiah, Jesus, Paul and Timothy, yet it is often absent from the regular practice of many Evangelical Churches. Can anyone explain this phenomenon (has anyone else noticed this oddity)?

Why would so many Evangelicals, who seem to pride themselves of being “people of the Book,” shy away from the public reading of scripture. Why does the Bible only get read in the midst of a 30-40 minute sermon (and often it is a verse from here and a verse from there - or every other verse from a portion of a chapter)? Why don’t we take the time and demonstrate that we value people “hearing the Bible read” in our services and meetings? How did this ancient practice get overlooked and squeezed out of our informal liturgies? Will we be satisfied to allow this practice to make only an occassional appearance in our meetings and services?

I can guess at some reasons why the public reading of scripture has been put aside in too many Evangelical worship services:

1. time - our services are centered on the sermon/homily/message, special music, the offering and singing. Practically there just isn’t time for another transition that would allow the public reading of scripture.

2. administration - it is one more thing to plan and demands energy to find and maintain a schedule of readers (we just can’t muster the administrative muscle).

3. trust - we don’t trust the scripture to be used by God to speak to our people without the explanation and interpretation of a trained pastor.

I am only guessing at the causes, it is more likely a combination of issues and it is probably more complex than my simple analysis suggests. I really haven’t researched this issue - hopefully it isn’t as widespread a problem as I think it is (but I am afraid it is). That being said, I do hope we can rediscover the need for young people and adults to “hear God’s written word read.” I hope that we can make room for this practice and demonstrate our trust in the words recorded for us that make up the Old and New Testament. I pray that as we gather as God’s people we would again publically read the scripture (without feeling like we need to add our words to it).

“…give attention to the public reading of scripture” I Timothy 4.13