missing: the church
I often hear folks wrangle and worry about the rate of teenagers who once they head off to college, head out of the church. They quote statistics and studies about how this crisis could become the demise of the church. Fear of losing “our kids” and strategies to “bridge the gap” and retain young 20’s has probably raised lots of money and sold books and programs as the problem du jour - but is that the solution? Now, while I agree there is a problem (the church is growing old and failing to retain the young) I am not sure that I agree with the cause of the problem or the often suggested solutions. It is true that once young people are out on there own they often don’t go to church… but I wonder were they ever a part of the church in the first place?
Are kids leaving the church? Or has the Church left kids? The answer is, “Yes” but the crux of the issue is the latter. I think it is worth considering if the church has a place for young people. Oh, I know churches spend untold amounts of money on facilities, staff, programs and snacks to keep children and teenagers active, busy, and happy; but are they a part of the life of the church? Are they a valued and integral part of the larger life of Christ’s Body the Church? It seems children and young people are merely active in the church while their parents participate in the life of the Church? I have been wondering lately if the issue with young peoples exit from the church is a result that teens are a part of a youth ministry; but fail to be part of the life of Christ’s Body. That the loyalty of young people is often to a youth leader and their Christian friends; but they don’t understand or see the need to be connected to the mission and life of Christ body - the Church. One could even say, kids aren’t leaving the Church because the Church never had them.
So I am suggesting to you that our young people aren’t missing; the Church is missing in our youth ministries?
Right before he died Mike Yaconelli wrote a piece about youth ministry being a failed experiment. While the article pissed a lot of people off, to the point at which he wrote another piece that took away the teeth of the first one, he was right.
Youth ministry, IS a failed experiment… for many reasons, but I think that the biggest one is the separation of students (especially high schoolers) from the larger church body. The messages that we send are unintentional, but bad:
Big church doesn’t understand you
Church should be all about you, what you think is cool
It doesn’t matter what the old people think
As we plant a church and kick around the idea of what we do with youth, the thought of doing away with high school ministry is becoming more and more popular with us. We want to include high schoolers in our small groups… we want them to be a part of the conversations and the wrestlings that happen there. We want them to pray alongside the thirty and fifty somethings. We want them to be celebrating alongside the rest of us during our worship gatherings.
I appreciate the fact that it is easier to do this as a church plant, but there has to be a way to do this in the traditional church setting… doesn’t there?
Excellent thoughts my friend. I completely agree.
That’ll preach my friend. I am longing to see a more holistic approach to church ministry.. what exactly that looks like I just don’t know!
AMEN!
Youth are the church of today, not tomorrow.
We are learning in our church that we have to approach ministry as family ministry, not ministry for grownups and then second-rate ministry for kids.
But I am always trying to find ways to get younger and younger people involved in ministry… and even leading ministry!
It’s subtle… I think you’re right on Doug. I speak from personal experience. I was a part of the “program” in my early years of youth group. At that same time I was also admired the youth pastor and tagged along with him whenever possible. That was it though, I went to all the events and tagged along. Looking back (compared to now) it was a lonely road. At that rate I am confident that I would have “dropped” church after high school.
However, something changed - in our student ministry and in my life. First and foremost God changed my heart (my relationship with Him). His primary method (for lack of a better word) was through the Pastor of Student Ministry - who was a disciple-maker. The student ministry no longer held events and programs were not the focus. We were challenged to FOCUS on God and then make an IMPACT wherever we were - school, work, home, and yes even at church.
That is why I never dropped church after high school. That is why I seriously prayed and wrestled to answer the question, “What does God have for me to do?” That is why I became a disciple-maker too. I’m a part of the Body of Christ, which is lead by the Spirit to glorify God in the places we expect God to be (like church) and place we do not expect God to be (like work, the shopping mall, the local soup kitchen, on committees, at the fair, or the neighbor’s house).
some great comments.
thanks for the testimonial Ben and welcome to the comments section!
Pete - as always thanks for moving this from theory to reality - trying to practice it in the Body! You keep me real. thanks.
Adam - appreciate you stopping by - and hope that God reveals to all of us a new way (kind?) of youth ministry that avoids being sanctified day care or “jr. church”
Brian - You are a son of encouragement thanks Barnabas!
Matt - you are in my prayers as you try the NEW experiment - and persevere in it as there are bound to be more failures - but hopefully by God’s Never-failing grace we can keep learning, keep dreaming and keep risking to see the Body of Christ more radiant and more vibrant!