Yesterday I began a review on reTHiNK by Steve Wright - you can read what I thought of the first third or so of the book here.

In the second half of the book (2/3rds to be fair) Wright takes up his prescription - co-championing the institution of the Family and the church. A partnership between parents (the primary discipler of Children) and the church (purpose to exalt, edify (disciple?), and evangelize). He then states that the key is to strike a balance where we are focusing our efforts in helping our churches be more family-centered (a good word!). His prescription goes on to help reshape our model of youth ministry helping set up parents as the primary influencer/discipler for their children.

Here is my struggle. This sounds great. It plays into the focus on the family agenda of many Evangelical churches. It even “sounds” biblical. From my understanding of culture, ancient stuff and a few years of studying the Bible - this is more of a programmatic reaction than a precise scriptural reading. I think my perspective on reTHiNK is that there is a lot of helpful suggestion (REALLY) but I don’t think it is a more “biblical framework” than many other newer ideas out there which also have the same premise* but different (equally biblically grounded) prescriptions (say Folmsbee’s “New Kind of Youth Ministry,” M. King’s “Presence-Centered Youth Ministry” or Yaconelli’s “Contemplative Youth Ministry“).

I think where Wright sells a bit too hard is in his conviction that parents are to be the primary discipler of their teen. I believe that a case can be made for this idea as it relates to children (I think their are a number of scriptures which would point to this), but to carry this idea over to one who is beyond puberty is not something that I think you can argue from scripture. In the ancient world (actually up till the middle/late part of the 19th Century) there was no appreciation of this “time between.” There was no time between childhood and adulthood. The Bible doesn’t have a word for those after puberty - other than adult. The Bible has words for infant, young child, and child. The Bible recognizes young adults, adults and older adults. The Bible writers know not a teenager (the term adolescence doesn’t appear in English till 1904).

It is anachronistic and reading our world into the text to suggest that parents are to be the primary spiritual care-taker of their teen. In biblical times once a youth goes through puberty - they had a party and ushered the “now adult” into the world of work, child-rearing and becoming contributers to the larger community. This meant the young adult often left their parents home (the ancients understood the fireworks that often occur between parents and their post puberty offspring) to enter an apprenticeship, a relationship with a “master” or Rabbi/teacher, or into the home of a new spouse (and their extended family).

In fact their seems to be more precedent from the lessons of the ancients that what human beings who have crossed over the threshold of puberty need is not more influence from their parents (they should have gotten that from the previous 11-13 years); but reinforcement and new perspectives from other experienced adults.

Wright does a good job with diagnosis. His prescription for championing the twin towers of parents and the church sounds good - but I don’t think it is the winning combination long term in most churches that he envisions it to be. The church does need to champion/help/serve/equip parents to negotiate the new relationship they have with their teen - but not as primary discipler - it is a moving slowly from being the authority to over time acknowledging each others adulthood while still being the parent - no easy task (as their young person struggles with independence, identity, and intimacy). Parents need to help their teen find other adults who can reinforce how they have been “training up their child” and move from being a primary discipler to being a primary modeler (actions over words). I think Wright does a great job identifying some of what I think are critical values for a healthy youth ministry; but I think he really focuses on one of those values far more than the others. I would have probably focused on another one to the detriment of the others - that being the value of “championing the church.” But, I probably mean something different than Wright when I say that. I think Youth Ministry must become an advocate for the integration of all ages into the life and purposes of the church. It is here that more genuine relationship and mentoring and “discipling” can take place. It is here where I see a more wholistic and Acts 2.42 kind of picture of how what we call adolescents can be best cared for.

It is worth a read. Wright is to be commended for raising the issue. I am sure it will cause many a healthy discussion in classrooms and family rooms among youth ministry practitioners trying to do their best for “their kids.” If you haven’t read it - give it a go - and then as Wright challenges us, “decide for yourself.”

*I read Wright’s premise as - those in youth ministry must rethink about the values and priorities of youth ministry because our current way or approach in ministering to teens is fundamentally flawed.