Wow, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Mark Riddle tagged me for a “Thinking Blogger” award.  And it actually comes with a little doo-hickey!

 Mark is someone I met at the Youth Specialties National Youth Worker’s Convention and is an amazing thinker.  A ministry I work part-time for has definitely been a benefactor of his keen insight and consulting skills.  I can confidently recommend his services (The Riddle Group) if/when your youth ministry is in need of helpful guidance.

 So now I am supposed to “tag” five other blogs for this award,  so in no particular order here I go:

1. Rustin Smith - Rustin isn’t a youth worker, but he is doing some cool sounding stuff in a church plant in Kansas City.  His posts are a mixture of real-life, sermon-material and fresh approaches to age-old issues - Check it out!
2. Chris Folmsbee - Chris is the President of Sonlife Ministries and author of a fairly new book, A New Kind of Youth Ministry.  Chris is a person in youth ministry I enjoy learning from and I can’t recommend highly enough.
3. Justin Ross - Justin is a youth pastor for a Presbyterian Church in Oak Harbor, Washington - I have recently begun to enjoy his blog, a daily read.  It is a great glimpse at his life, his learnings and stuff he loves (even beer!)
4. Brian Eberly - Brian is a youth pastor for a church called The Grace Place in Oregon.  Another fairly recent discovery - Brian has found a clear voice in his blog.
5. Monty - Monty, was a youth pastor (for 15 years or so, I believe he mentioned to me), but now has responded to a call to be a pastor in paradise.  Monty is a Nazarene pastor in Hawaii (Kailua Kona to be precise).  Monty has a wonderful and engaging writing style (check out his postings from Holy Week of this year - they are priceless!) that brings me back to his blog, again and again.  He also is a fellow freak for the 77’s, Daniel Amos, and a bunch of other great music!

So, I hope the new honorees enjoy their sparkling new award - and keep the love going.  You are each now obligated to reference the source of your Thinking Blogger Award (that would be your’s truly) and tag five more worthy recipients!

As I author this, I am sitting in the Pittsburgh International Airport waiting to board an airplane to Soutwest Florida. I always have bittersweet feelings at departure time. The tinge of guilt and sadness leaving my family and regular routines and responsibilities and yet a bit of excitement about the journey ahead. And so I wait with the duplicitous feelings washing over me.

Consulting is an especially interesting journey. It is consciously walking into a new set of relationships where there are many spoken and unspoken expectations and all kinds of unknowns (despite the many discussions and phone calls beforehand). It is a journey I do enjoy! I thrive on the thrill of dreaming and encouraging youth workers. I also love the challenge of helping a team of folks come to new realizations and also see the places and ways they are being used to reveal God’s Kingdom among young people. Today I will begin four days of walking with a group of volunteer youthworkers who are desireing to evaluate and discuss a more wholistic approach to youth ministry.

I hope to help these volunteers uncover an important set of truths. The core truths are that more than being activity and program directors - that each youth worker would realize they are called to be advocates for youth and spiritual guides for others. My hope is to help these folks see that to develop a wholistic ministry to youth, they need to advocate for the involvement and participation of teens in the life of the faith community. Championing the cry that youth are a valued and needed part of Christ’s Body, right now. This is essential to be successful in helping integrate the youth into the everyday life of the church. As spiritual guides my hope is to help each of the volunteers to see the vital importance of their own personal growth. It is out of this growing and deepening well that they will have the authenticity and the resource to minister.

That is my agenda, subject to change. For now the journey begins and not to far around the corner, we’ll uncover some of God’s agenda for this important ministry in Florida.

I PLEAD, MORE OF THIS, PLEASE!!

WONDERFUL.

I remember the ten to fifteen minutes before the youth event when students were arriving. At times in ministry those could be anxious moments. I would often be wondering, are more people coming? Are the volunteers going to show up?! Will the core kids come and be kind? Will that obnoxious elder’s kid show up? Have you ever had those thoughts?

It doesn’t take us long ministering with kids to realize that “who is there” can make a big difference in what gets accomplished any given night. One personality can “derail” an entire evening by acting up, by dominating the discussion, or by intimidating others -keeping them from participation. I think we can see this as a problem or we can see this issue as the ministry to which we are called. It may help to see “who comes out on any given night” - as the ministry to which we are called; and if we do so - then how can we change the way we approach such a ministry?

I got to thinking of this question while I was cutting my grass. I was noticing the weeds amidst the blades of fresh spring grass. I was reminded again that I need to fertilize and feed my grass. I have long been an adopter of the mantra, “feed the grass, rather than pull the weeds.” I mean you can pull weeds - but that can jeopardize the root system of your grass, not to mention it leaves a void in your yard. I say feed the grass and get a healthy, growing crop of grass; and in the long term there will be no room for weeds.

We often allow ourselves to get in the same quandry in ministry - do I feed the grass or pull the weeds. I encourage folks to feed the grass. Care for and feed those who come and:

believe the best - that Students are hungry for God and meaning,

that it is God who causes the growth,

trust that below the surface in unseen places (at the root level) - change is taking place,

share out of your authenticity the truth found in God’s Word,

and feed, train and call your volunteers to be welcoming, loving, befriending and encouraging toward every kid who shows up.

As we are faithful in these things we will create a positive environment that is accepting and prime for growth. We will “feed the grass” and not uproot any potential from our ministry. We will begin to view every individual not as a “problem” or as “more important” but each person as one who is there by God’s grace and able to be transformed by God’s grace.

Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

” ‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’ “ [Matthew 13:24-30]

**DISCLAIMER**
This post is in no way suggesting that we avoid disciplining students in our ministry who misbehave (this can obviously be a part of a persons individual growth). There is a time and place for rules, enforcement of rules and consequences. I would advocate that you regularly review the expectations within your ministry and the consequences for disregarding them.

Over the past couple of days I have found these to be good reads… thought I would pass them along:

Ted Gossard on The National Day of Prayer (and his post on The Beauty of the Lord was a good read, as well).

Caught in the Middle has a great post on leadership and big business in the church.

Alan Bevere provides some fun with a post entitled, “Funny Quotes on Religion.”

Kurt Johnston posts on 25 things you can do with a Buck - this is a wonderful “take-a-way” idea for students on a message on “little things that can make a big difference.” (Kurt provided this list with a dollar as a take-away recently at their middle school ministry).

Mark Riddle post a short little thought on an “odd spiritual discipline he practices.” I really dig it - a helpful way to foster your awareness and to be in the moment.

The internet monk - Michael Spencer - writes a wonderful piece on liturgical prayer; really well done! You can check out my recommendations for exploring an alternative to “spontaneous prayer” here.

Mike King - posts a quote from Erwin McManus - a helpful reminder and a great conversation starter!

It is no secret that the Western World (especially USAmerica) loves the great gala extravaganza. We gravitate toward the big event. It is our way. We love to make a splash and often the build up is bigger than the event [think Superbowl hype every year, new fall tv lineups, release of new Albums (think U2 playing on a flatbed through the streets of NYC), the press coverage of gatherings to herald the arrival of gamesystems & computer operating systems, and we could go on and on] with millions rallied, millions spent, and untold hours of energy devoted to prepare for “the event.” It also comes as no surprise that this “bigger is better event” mentality has crept (okay captured and dominated??) many of our churches.

My hope is that we can shed this sense that Christian growth occurs through events and monumental moments. This seems to fly in the face of much evidence we see around us. It is Spring right now in the Mid-Atlantic states of USAmerica. I have been struck by the fact that the emergence of growth and life is a long process. The various trees (especially the Hard woods like the Red Maple and White Oaks) have been going through the cycle of coming into leaf since mid-March and still aren’t in full leaf. When I look at Jesus and His work among His disciples we don’t see Him including all the disciples on all the Miracles, but apparantly most of them were present with Him for three solid years of living with the Master. They experienced His stories, His priorities, His attitudes and His everyday demeanor as they ate, walked, and worked among people. It was a long process to go from average Israelite to Apostle of the Risen Christ.

I won’t say there isn’t a place for Monumental Moments (who wants to discount the Resurrection or Pentecost or Baptism or the institution of the Lord’s Supper) - but, these events while definitive - are not our only means of discipleship. Discipleship is a process of frequent footprints, interspersed with monumental moments. Too often in Youth Ministry we fail to help students see specifically how they can be daily following after the Master. We can fall into the trap of mistakenly conveying the idea that Christian Growth takes place as a result of participating in extravaganza’s (conferences, retreats, events, rally’s, large meetings). My prayer is that more Youth Ministry practitioners will help the youth of their church discover a discipleship of frequent footprints.

A discipleship of frequent footprints would be characterized by:

1. Helping students have a family familiarity with the life of Jesus;
2. Modeling and calling students to a prayer life that is in harmony with The Lord’s Prayer;
3. Providing regular opportunities for students to serve rather than be served (local service and ministry projects);
4. Becoming experts in hospitality, known as welcoming and gracious hosts;
5. Developing mentor/mentoree relationships that nurtures, encourages, and deepens participants spiritual, emotional, and relational life;
6. Fostering a ministry environment that celebrates and expects students to share stories of how God’s Story is enveloping their own.

Well, that is just a beginning. What are you doing to encourage daily discipleship among your students? May the Church of the 21st Century be a Church that is known in history as getting serious about modeling our daily lifestyle after our Master.

Building on the post from yesterday, what I have learned so far - I thought it would be interesting to think through lessons we feel students should be learning. If you were to list out five or six essential life lessons for students that you would want to help kids learn and put into practice as they come through your ministry, what would they be?

Beyond orthodoxy - correct beliefs; what orthopraxis (right actions) would you want your students to engage in? Are there some life practices that would be essential for your students to be confronted with and challenged to integrate into their everyday living?

A couple come to mind:

1. Listen more than you speak. (helping students value actively listening to others)

2. Pray without ceasing. (encouraging young people to see prayer as fostering an awareness and attentiveness to the presence of God)

3. Practice generosity and hospitality. (our greatest apologetic for the reality of God and His Kingdom is a love that is extravagant and gives of our best)

4. Gratitude for what I already have. (battling the entitlement of “I deserve better.” nurturing a thankfulness for what I have and contentment that doesn’t need to acquire more.)

I have been thinking about this topic a bit lately. I would love to hear your thoughts about some of the life lessons that you feel are important to impart to the students in your local church. Leave a comment and join in the conversation.

What I’ve Learned So Far…
By Brother Francis Delvaux

It would be impossible for all my ‘life principles’ - what I believe and act from in my life - to be named in a list, but here are some that play a big part in how I live. I hope they might inspire you to share some of the principles that guide the way you live.

1. I might not be able to control what comes into my life, but I can control how I respond to what comes.

2. I am a product of my past, but not a prisoner of it.

3. I never saw a hearse with a baggage rack. When I pass to glory, all I’m taking with me is love, love, love.

4. What’s down in the well comes up in the bucket.

5. The key to happiness is forgiveness.

6. The image I am learning to have of myself is the image that God has of me. When I ask God, “What are you thinking about me as a person?” God answers, “I think you are a beautiful, loving person.” And I answer, “Yes, I am, because you made me that way!”

7. A little bit of fragrance always clings to my hand when I give you roses.

8. I try to keep my 8’s in balance: 8 hours of ministry, 8 hours of being ministered to by others, and 8 hours of rest. These are not in strict pockets of my life but roll in and out of my 24 hour day. However, if they’re out of balance, I will not be the minister God has called me to be. The workaholic is a person whose 8’s are out of balance.

9. All that I give to you, I also give to myself.

10. What keeps me unwell are my secrets.

11. Joy is the echo of God’s life in us.

12. Two hallmarks that God is alive and well in me: joy and peace.

13. As Nietzsche said, I could only believe in a God that knew how to dance.

14. Be still … and let God love you.

15. The moment I die, there’s going to be a great big roar of laughter in heaven and a big hug from Jesus.

16. All my interruptions turned out to be my ministry.

17. I fall seven times, get up eight. (From a Japanese proverb.)

18. We are a community of cripples, helping each other up the road.

Brother Francis Delvaux is a member of the Holy Cross Brothers and a job counselor at Jubilee Jobs.

In the spirit of Brother Delvaux’s list of “life lessons” - what 2 or 3 lessons have you learned, not from a book, but from experience. What has life taught you about living, relationships, ministry, etc. and how do you pass it on. Do you have some “folk wisdom” that you have genuinely learned that you pass on to others.

I would love for you to share a few of your lessons in the comments!