Often the day after big events, ministry nights or youth activities finds us either at the height of revelry or at the lowest times of our week (or year). I recall a time when I had been planning a particular event (for over a year) and when it was over I found myself feeling sad, low, grouchy and quite tired. I remember talking with my wife about my attitude and coming to the realization that my depression was due to the event ending. I had become so wrapped up in the event - I felt as though part of me had ended.

What makes us, us? To often our identity gets formed by things that leave us wanting. From more than one source I have come across the following identity markers that too many Westerners allow to form “who they are:”
1. I am what I do.
2. I am what others say about me.
3. I am what I have.

We often become and are shaped by what we do, what others think about us and by what we possess. I have come across more than one youth worker (heck, I have been that youth worker) who falls into this trap of being shaped by these external factors. As a result, we think we are “Youth Worker of the Year” when the numbers are up, the congregation is speaking well of us and we get a raise (gasp!). We know that these kinds of things shouldn’t shape us, but it is easy to fall into (not to mention what are we thinking about ourselves when our volunteers all leave us, the youth have trashed the senior adult sunday school room, the parents want our head on a platter, and there is no money for the youth budget or a cost of living increase).

So what makes us, us? We must break away from our cultural bias toward action, consumerism and reputation and come to the realization that identity formation is primarily about being formed by the Potter. We are shaped when we allow the Potter to touch the clay of our lives. When we are available and open to the impression of the Potter’s hands, this forms the true self. Identity is not something we can do alone; it is about God participating and cooperating to provide us with an internal, true and enduring sense of self.

We can see this clearly in scripture. We are not the primary subject. We are not the action, either. We are included by means of a preposition. In Romans (8.31) we are reminded that God is for us. In Galatians (2.20) we are told of the privilege that Christ is in us. Finally in Matthew (1.23) we hear that God is with us. For, in and with - these are connecting words, important words - but they are not the main subject or the predicate - they are prepositions. That is instructive. Eugene Peterson calls this grammatical truth: prepositional participation. Identity is formed not as WE do (the subject and predicate); but as we join with the invitation to participate and cooperate with (or in; or for) the life of God.

God desires through our relationship and joining in His will and way to help shape and form our identity. Remember today - it isn’t our doing, our owning or our impressing - it is God in us, with us and for us that will shape us into His beloved children. It is when we discover the identity of being His beloved at the core of our being that we will be able to endure and be content through the ups and down, the highs and lows and the much and little that life will serve us.